Motherhood, toddlers, Uncategorized

Why You Need a “Tribe” & How to Find Yours

Your tribe, your crew, or your people, they can be called a number of different things. They are the people who have celebrated your highs and consoled you during your lows. They are the people who you can rely on no matter what. Having a rough day? Give them a call! Have exciting news? They would love to celebrate with you. They are the people you run to no matter what! They become part of your family.

Your mom tribe understands your struggles differently then your spouse. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I often run to him for advice, but my mom tribe offers me a different preceptive. They know when to give advice and when you just want someone to be upset right beside you. They are right there in the thick of this journey with you. Riding shot gun through this crazy journey called motherhood. Your tribe is usually interested in the same things as you. So, your husband may get out of listening to you talk about the newest episode of The Real Housewives. (He will probably thank you for that!)

As military spouses, our tribes change throughout the years, but the bonds we create never break. We rely a lot on our tribe, whether its during the inevitable deployment curse, celebrating a new life, or keeping each other sane while our spouses are away. Our tribe is who keeps us going and our heads on straight.

We started out just the 3 of us, and now there are 9. Watching your tribe grow is an amazing thing!

How to Find Those Special Mommas:

It’s kind oflike dating all over again! You take your littles to the park or library in search of finding someone who you clicks with you and your kiddos. Once you find a momma who you think would get along with you, invite them on a playdate. During the playdate you ask about each other’s interests and get to know each other. Seriously, it’s mom dating! After your first playdate, it’s a waiting game to see if you hear back from one another.

Is it always mom friend at first playdate? No, and that’s okay. Nor every mom is going to click with you and vise versa.

Where to Look?

You want to find moms with similar interests as you. Perhaps you have seen the same moms at the park, church, or library story time. Finding someone who enjoys running 5k’s and doing yoga might not be the lifestyle you choose to live. Maybe a mom who rocks yoga pants (yes, they are considered pants!) and drinks wine on playdates is more your speed. If you are lucky, your child will make new friends with a certain kid who’s mom you have been thinking about talking to. You know, that mom who seems to be just like you… Thank you for the little ice breaker, bud!  

You will have to put yourself out there. Personally, as an introvert and homebody, this was where I struggled the most. You can’t stay home and assume someone is going to come knocking on your door for a playdate. Not only is this unlikely, but a little creepy!

Venture outside of your home, even if that means the community park. If you have a friend who will join you, bring them along. I’ve noticed it’s easier to be social when you have someone you know.

Yes, our tribe is crazy & we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Keeping Your Tribe!

Once you start growing your tribe, continue to put forth effort into your friendship. Be their support system, offer to help them when they are in need, and be an ear when they need someone to talk to. The more you put into your friendship the more it will grow and strengthen.

Your tribe isn’t just for you either. Watching your children make those special life time friends is something money cant buy. When they wake up first thing in the morning asking to play with their best friend, who’s mom is also your best friend… BEST THING IS THE WORLD!

Best Friends!

So, go out and find your tribe. If you already have found them, thank them for all that they do! Continue to grow those friendships!

XOXO Kate & Elizabeth

Uncategorized

The Meet Cute

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

-C.S. Lewis

We danced around the idea of a blog for a couple months before finally deciding to take advantage of a kid-free Sunday morning and meet for coffee.  On said day, it was pouring.  Usually this would be a plan-canceler for us, a reason to stay in.  A footnote in our friendship agreement of sorts.  But today we braved the weather (because KID FREE) and showed up to Starbucks wearing almost identical outfits….jeans, white sweater, boots.  We then ordered lattes and proceeded to talk about everything but our future blog for over an hour.

It’s very cool how people meet.  Kind of a weird statement, I know, but it all comes back to that, right?  When you met your husband, when you first saw your child, when you became best friends.  It’s nostalgic.  It’s epic.  It’s the origin story.  Maybe it’s a classic meet cute or maybe it was a bit rocky, but it’s memorable nonetheless.  I once read that the average person meets 10,000 people in their lifetime.  As stay at home moms, I feel like that number could be a lot less.  Maybe that is why we are all about community events, playgroups, coffee dates, etc.  Especially as military families when the worthwhile friends we do manage to meet are often renting a moving truck far before we are ready to see them go.  That’s why it feels like winning the lottery when you not only find a friend, but one who gets you so well.

We met at a park on an unexceptional late-spring day, where we both separately decided to grab coffee with our husbands and take our 1 year olds out to burn some energy.  As I remember it, both of our children gravitated away from the playground equipment and towards the forbidden body of water that ran surreptitiously alongside the small park in coastal North Carolina.  We giggled over this common toddler obsession, made a Moana joke (duh), and struck up easy conversation.  It wasn’t until a few conversations later that we realized we had both driven 15 minutes away from our homes on a weekend morning to go to Dunkin Donuts of all places, both passing other coffee shops along the way, and then taking our toddlers to a park none of us have ever been to before that’s in the town we live in.  Plus our kids had basically the same due date.  So there, that’s our meet cute.

Awkward toddler hugs!

Over a year later, we both welcomed new baby girls who are also close in age and commiserate daily on the whoas of motherhood.  Our toddlers even celebrated their 2nd birthdays together. While I feel like we are SO alike, we are also very different.  We are both military spouses and SAHMs. Kate is organized, talented at DIY, and has a flare for interior design.  She has a knack for giving her kids amazing educational opportunities and making their days so unique and special. She likes to say that her son’s social calendar is more happening than hers!  Elizabeth has an eye for photography and an affinity for nature and adventure.  She and her husband love to take their two littles on road trips and camping trips that may seem a bit overzealous with two young kids, but oftentimes the best memories come from the chaos. That’s us in a nutshell. I have a feeling you’ll learn a lot more about us later!

So why start a blog together?  I guess it’s because we both impress each other as moms.  We always love what the other is up to and it’s so easy to bounce ideas off each other.  When one feels like they are lacking in a certain area, the other has a great suggestion (or at the very least, an empathetic ear.) I have found that sometimes as a mother you just need to know that what you are doing is okay.  Sometimes you need a reminder that it does, in fact, take a village.  And sometimes that “village” can simply be the words of like-minded moms in a blog about staying sane and taking motherhood one sip at a time. So we hope you will join us on our journey. We welcome comments, inspiration, suggestions, & support from our village at anytime!

XOXO, Elizabeth & Kate