Your tribe, your crew, or your people, they can be called a number of different things. They are the people who have celebrated your highs and consoled you during your lows. They are the people who you can rely on no matter what. Having a rough day? Give them a call! Have exciting news? They would love to celebrate with you. They are the people you run to no matter what! They become part of your family.
Your mom tribe understands your struggles differently then your spouse. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I often run to him for advice, but my mom tribe offers me a different preceptive. They know when to give advice and when you just want someone to be upset right beside you. They are right there in the thick of this journey with you. Riding shot gun through this crazy journey called motherhood. Your tribe is usually interested in the same things as you. So, your husband may get out of listening to you talk about the newest episode of The Real Housewives. (He will probably thank you for that!)
As military spouses, our tribes change throughout the years, but the bonds we create never break. We rely a lot on our tribe, whether its during the inevitable deployment curse, celebrating a new life, or keeping each other sane while our spouses are away. Our tribe is who keeps us going and our heads on straight.
How to Find Those Special Mommas:
It’s kind oflike dating all over again! You take your littles to the park or library in search of finding someone who you clicks with you and your kiddos. Once you find a momma who you think would get along with you, invite them on a playdate. During the playdate you ask about each other’s interests and get to know each other. Seriously, it’s mom dating! After your first playdate, it’s a waiting game to see if you hear back from one another.
Is it always mom friend at first playdate? No, and that’s okay. Nor every mom is going to click with you and vise versa.
Where to Look?
You want to find moms with similar interests as you. Perhaps you have seen the same moms at the park, church, or library story time. Finding someone who enjoys running 5k’s and doing yoga might not be the lifestyle you choose to live. Maybe a mom who rocks yoga pants (yes, they are considered pants!) and drinks wine on playdates is more your speed. If you are lucky, your child will make new friends with a certain kid who’s mom you have been thinking about talking to. You know, that mom who seems to be just like you… Thank you for the little ice breaker, bud!
You will have to put yourself out there. Personally, as an introvert and homebody, this was where I struggled the most. You can’t stay home and assume someone is going to come knocking on your door for a playdate. Not only is this unlikely, but a little creepy!
Venture outside of your home, even if that means the community park. If you have a friend who will join you, bring them along. I’ve noticed it’s easier to be social when you have someone you know.
Keeping Your Tribe!
Once you start growing your tribe, continue to put forth effort into your friendship. Be their support system, offer to help them when they are in need, and be an ear when they need someone to talk to. The more you put into your friendship the more it will grow and strengthen.
Your tribe isn’t just for you either. Watching your children make those special life time friends is something money cant buy. When they wake up first thing in the morning asking to play with their best friend, who’s mom is also your best friend… BEST THING IS THE WORLD!
So, go out and find your tribe. If you already have found them, thank them for all that they do! Continue to grow those friendships!
XOXO Kate & Elizabeth